Good Qualities of us

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This topic contains 93 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Josh April 17, 2017 at 10:31 pm.

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  • #2008

    Josh

    Coimbatore was an Easter egg?

    • #2009

      Josh

      The (non) sexual concept would have been lost on me. But I see now how unlikely it is for u not to notice any detail or not make semi-conscious choices about it.

      • #2010

        Josh

        U are a pretty hot teacher.

  • #2011

    Josh

    “Now look like you had old spring roll for lunch.” ??

  • #2012

    Josh

    Yes…Thor is actually a set of powerful ideas. Unfortunately, you all and I need even more than Thor. But Thor is still worthwhile and something to cheer for.

  • #2013

    Josh

    All of the really Indy journalists, who are not retired or have other vocations, are working different strategies to earn money. I don’t focus on judging the strategies except as it affects their ability to communicate and what they say.

  • #2014

    Josh

    I thought I was just taking Riley for an ordinary, quick trip to Mom’s the other day. Now I see it was kind of a statement game for the local malice crew. They used the tiny window to tack on a whole set of attack pieces. And I guess that will be the pattern going forward, until the entire house is full of holes.

  • #2015

    Josh

    I didn’t look at the shape of the hail today, but hail in MN in April isn’t that unusual. We sometimes get hail in July.

  • #2016

    Josh

    Sheridan Hayward? Some LCs some random person is saying or some kind of hard to follow line between Bucket and Uncle Al???

  • #2017

    Josh

    Some tweets the other day were talking about cursing. So when I was in the garage, I spoke out loud, about how I sometimes would rap or curse in such instances to let the locals hear about their crimes and attacks. I said that now they could see I was simply defending myself from attacks, it wasn’t that relevant any more. I said that they had no idea if all the people they replaced were alive or dead, and I viewed them as a treasonous, mass murdering fifth column. I pointed out that “just taking orders” was no excuse for the Nazis working for Hitler and they are pretty much the same kind of scumbags. Don’t know who would have heard that except the mic guys, so I doubt it had much impact. But maybe it is different set than who reads the web pages.

  • #2018

    Josh

    I said that if they were all dead, the main reason I was not was because it might upset your work, and perhaps also because I talked to the local police and my family.

  • #2019

    Josh

    If I had to describe the attitude I see in the locals, they remind me of bored spectators watching a slave get eaten by lions in the Coliseum. “That was slighly interesting…Nah, I’ve seen better. There was that couple were we blew up the furnace in Wichita. That was exciting…”

  • #2020

    Josh

    I’m an associate of Jimmy Huffa?

  • #2033

    Josh

    We should have a retro game day once in a while. These two are both red.

  • #2035

    Josh

    I’m still putting most of my time/effort into battling abuse. Over the last week, I am knocking out guns faster than they are putting new ones in, but that ratio isn’t as one sided as I would like, especially given that I haven’t really gone anywhere except the drop-off/pick-up quick round trip. It feels annoying as hell to still be getting shot at all the time, even though it is less. So I’m kill working at that.

  • #2036

    Josh

    About the rabbit guy…deep down, u knew in the nineties that he was US – CIA or something like that – but u didn’t want to recognize the implications of that. I can sort of understand that. But rationally, it would have helped us to understand sooner.

    • #2037

      Josh

      They brought a special tribute to RB/VD this morning to show me how much the tech has improved – they don’t need guiding lines any more.

      • #2038

        Josh

        It is intimidating in it’s way because, as part of the pattern, it shows how serious they are about their succession from humanity. They have increasing $$$ and increasing tech and increasing armies of their own traitors, and a plan to move further and further away from the public, dominating the public in terms of the secret things they keep for themselves, developed with the money they criminally stole from the public sheeple they raped and killed. It’s no joke.

  • #2039

    Josh

    What do u know about the implementation of “taking away someone’s citizenship”? Confiscate the docs they have on them and change records somewhere so they can’t prove their identity?

  • #2042

    Josh

    I was thinking about the tweet I saw on saving ugly vegetables from waste. It got me to think about how u sometimes suspect I am too indecisive and timid with resources because of the habits I got from my ‘rents. U are the critic, besides me, who knows me best, and u are the critic who loves me best, so I was motivated to reflect. My parents did give me that kind of view which is actually helpful in a lot of ways, but can be a liability too. My most important example of it being a liability was probably the way that I was too slow to downgrade the practical relevance of a MIT Ph.D. degree in Cognitive Science as a credential that was going to be useful *to me*. Some of that was reasonable ignorance, but some was conservationist mental inertia. Within that, also the NSF funding I got and the idea of finishing in 4 years with full funding and only minimal teaching load. Different bad ideas I got from my background were a overemphasis on the role of pure illuminating theory in the 99.99% of science. Newton and Einstein are such rare, rare cases, yet children are taught about their work history as paragons. Trying to emulate their style is a supremely stupid way of trying to make progress in most cases – especially all cases that are not close to pure physics or mathematics, with their universal regularity of phenomena/formal definition respectively.

    Some other examples were not so bad – I did pretty well with my first PC purchase. It made sense to wait until them. I obsessed over it, but I learned and had fun doing that. There turned out to be a bug in the early PCI chipset, but that was too hard to know for my novice approach to that area. The graphics card I reused on the next build. I didn’t need more performance. So that worked out relatively well. My vague idea of some kind of expert system for marketing never got off or really to the drawing board. So that was an example in the opposite direction of leaping out of impetus without a good look at where I was going on several practical levels. Nowadays, I am saving money, but I don’t have super clear ideas for spending money that would help. I think about possibilities.

    Thinking about u…u were brought up to achieve high performance in various quantitative ways. But because u were in a really bad situation, those achievements hurt u in life rather than helping u. U only got negative benefits from your achievement because the people owning u as a slave were 200% exploitive with no decency/humanity on any level. In the abstract though, u were trained to be amazingly productive in particular avenues, and it would be awesome to see how that translates to other domains. I know u have had success doing some software and other IT projects, where u learn super quickly. And I know u can be a great novelist if u want to spend the time on that for your personal stories.

    For both of us, I feel that we are smart and we keep learning, even today, how to make better use of our history.

  • #2045

    Josh

    If there were some good self-help/advice books written for people being assaulted, tortured, slowly murdered every day by an army of spies constantly doing things to make life as pathetic and unpleasant as possible, I would read those and perhaps learn something. My gut says they might include advice like “Pay not attention to the advice of people who have no understanding of the reality you are in or how to cope with it.” What do u think?

  • #2047

    Josh

    Seeing Judy Garland say “There is no place like home” is not the same as living that fact. I know this. Looking and finding is a continuous quest. But I found u and knew somehow, that u were authentic.

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-04-12/loonie-jumpes-after-bank-canada-holds-rates-sees-output-gap-closing-sooner

  • #2052

    Josh

    Winnie the superlative…is A little sweetness.

  • #2059

    Josh

    @AskAaronLee works best for me as “Double A” – is that the way u read it?

  • #2065

    Josh

    It’s hard to be a good host chaperone when u are little, a slave in prison, and need your ears rubbed. It was wrong that u didn’t feel super important to me. U were super important. Knowing how to struggle, even when it seems beyond Herculean, may be better than not knowing how. Focus today on how we love & fight together.

    Historical Origins of the State: Barbarians at the Gate

    • #2066

      Josh

      I always felt like u were really romantic. U would disagree. I see better now how u wrestle with doubts creeping in & look for ways to keep them away. I wanted “blanket” to be like that. But now I see that Snidely Whiplash is more your style 🙂

  • #2067

    Josh

    They should pay a license fee to Barabara Eden to improve the windscreen design.

  • #2068

    Josh

    Flor & Babes are pretty sweet. Does it really feel like that??

  • #2069

    Josh

    Is it common for reporters at major papers to say that? Are they dissatisfied with what gets printed?

  • #2070

    Josh

    There haven’t been any notable local personalities here since the FBI took over. They are not allowed to talk and the rotate all the time. I supposed the smoking burglar was the highlight, but that was only 1 glimpse while driving by.

  • #2071

    Josh

    A votes for the calm, soothing presents. ME. I am best parent. Da.

  • #2072

    Josh

    Deep State and media are still moving forward with their “fake news” plans and following the party line. There is a lot of progress outside of CIA media, and a lot of recognition of the contrast. Seems like we are in very early stages of a long war. It’s not true that I favor the angriest sounding writers. It’s not true that what I favor is decisive about anything. I want to try and help the people who are saying the most relevant things the most persuasively.

    • #2074

      Josh

      I haven’t got any feedback on how the mediafire download is being used by anyone. It doesn’t matter if it is used directly or indirectly. I get indirect reads on how it can be useful. For the sites that mostly run other people’s content, it gives them places to look for things they might run or where they might send invitations asking for submissions. Some other sites, might ask writers they think are decent to work on particular projects. Some writers might see places they where they can send work. It seems to be working as a kind of Journo2Journo resources for “who/where can publish this sort of thing”.

      • #2075

        Josh

        Each site also has a few of their own unique readers. Maybe 1 of those readers turns out to be some rich or influential dude who has an influence. I was surprised to see Ron Paul and Pat Buchanan reading Antiwar.com Ralph Nader reads Counterpunch. Other sites may have their own people like that.

        • #2077

          Josh

          The idea of the J2J directory evolved, based on what I was seeing. I started the list with more emphasis on the idea of finding all the interesting/relevant things not being covered in the mainstream and making an alternative news flow for that. That’s still an okay set of concepts, but the other idea is having more traction. I’m pruning things that aren’t helping a lot in either category. But they aren’t pruned in the sense of banished forever. Most of them are still in Indynews list on twitter, and an overflow page I edit. Some don’t write very much. So write too much relative to the novel value. Mr. Grigg, unfortunately died, so Pro Libertate will eventually be the first loss due to death.

          https://twitter.com/misc_CIA_victim/lists/generalwatching

  • #2073

    Josh

    We are both in the right and face no forms of legal jeopardy. In terms of extra-judicial killing and torture, they CIA and the FBI/NSA respect no law or morals of any kind and do whatever they please. They are happy to take all the worlds’ treasure to form a giant gold dildo to stuff in their obscene rectums. That’s the level of their “civilization”.

  • #2076

    Josh

    U know for sure that we can’t be the way we want to be while u are a slave working in prison all day, far away, and I am being murdered by the FBI. We try to be the best way we can now, and a different best way whenever we are able to get together. U can tell me about both, but they can’t be the same. And for me, I have to be trying to move from here to there.

  • #2078

    Josh

    It’s difficult for anyone to focus all the time, & I know there have been different periods in life where it was tough to focus for different reasons. In the last few years though, the reason was always the same: I sit to work and the EMF attack feels really shitty and distracting, and it grows worse the longer I sit. So I try to do something about it…put up more crap, make my house more ugly and more uncomfortable, and then they adjust immediately to make sitting or sleeping uncomfortable again. So I do something else. It feels too pathetic to be responding like that all the time. It feels emotionally better to ignore it and work, but then the distraction is still being something of a distraction…so that can cut down energy/productivity…which is one of the FBI goals.

    Basically, I try to find mix and think of best solution. Getting the EMF guns on my house neutralized should have been a great victory – but of course they have different guns ready to go from next door. There’s never a day off since May 2014 or so, and only a few days then. Really no days off since June 2013, in a general way.

  • #2079

    Josh

    The FBI/CIA do read what I write & notice if I reveal things they haven’t thought of. U like to ask me to justify some positive strategy, so I always answer as best I can because u are important. But from a rational POV, we do hurt ourselves by explaining these things all the time. It’s worthwhile to do when u can help too. Then we should talk as much as possible.

  • #2080

    Josh

    U could ask Emma if she was worried that u were upset in Summer 2012 and what she felt was her responsibility to address that.

    • #2081

      Josh

      I’m not sure about the answer to that Q, but my point is not really about Emma. It’s rather about seeing your reality. Since the time u were little, almost everything in your environment has been carefully arranged for the sole purpose of keeping u working all the time, at full capacity, as a very special slave. This, that, & the other thing are all staged according to some CIA person’s theory of what will achieve that. Ultimately, it’s up to u to spike that assembly line.

  • #2097

    Josh

    U were trying to say that u felt bad for me when my marriage went South?

    • #2098

      Josh

      U told me before about how the Zuzu nonsense narrative was getting back in gear after Riley was born. The only point would be to manipulate u in some way or other.

  • #2099

    Josh

    There is no way they were going to let u do anything other than work all the time. Probably they were concerned that I was no good as a pet and they needed to find u a new one.

  • #2100

    Josh

    There should be a MB or MP skit where they say “Nobody expects to become Ho Chi Minh”. It just happens sometimes.

    • #2101

      Josh

      Not much good comes from misery…but usually one can at least gain some enhanced understanding about some part of reality…so let’s make sure we find any things like that which can help us. A lot of the time, when u feel I am being too sharp, it is only about that.

      • #2102

        Josh

        I was not prepared. But I have learned a lot only because of/through using the horror that landed on top of me. If I had not been able to learn anything I would be a) dead, b) not talking to u, and c) making no progress (in some kind of ordering of those things).

        • #2103

          Josh

          This was only part of it, but definitely part:
          Beyond their wildest dreams: 9/11 and the American Left

          • #2104

            Josh

            When the only guy u get to meet is a killa, & the most relevant part of that status is that he is eventually dead himself, u know u’ve fallen into a bad place.

  • #2105

    Josh

    I didn’t assign any affiliations on my page that the people didn’t claim for themselves. At least not on purpose.

  • #2106

    Josh

    I hope u will feel like I’m being a good champion for u, for me, for our friends. I hope u will feel that way about yourself too.

  • #2107

    Josh

    Chomsky was quoted in some recent interview as saying that the power structures (in the US) seem mighty but would fall quickly if people were really paying attention. I think that’s kind of obvious too. The hard part was first seeing what keeps them from seeing and second trying to figure out how to change that. The second is a a very hard task, but not completely impossible.

  • #2108

    Josh

    I don’t like the idea that my contact on his blog might well have contributed to William Griggs death. But current generation FBI tech makes it so easy for them to murder. I first heard he had some sort of infection and thought “That’s not the way the FBI murders”. But then it seems he & the family were out of the house because of the infection, he got released from the hospital, came back home, and then had an unexpected heart attack. Yes, that’s the way the FBI would murder him. Go into the house, put their EMF guns. Turn it on his heart. Take them out later. Not much anyone can do except be aware of what the FBI does. If nothing else, I need to find a way to inform people even while being called “crazy”.

  • #2109

    Josh

    Was that you retweeting?

    I am serious about us having a chance. If I’m right about Griggs, he had an advantage over me by having a big family around and being more remote/isolated, but a disadvantage of not realizing the danger he was in, and not being important to your emotions.

    ****************************************
    Good Morning America Retweeted

  • #2110

    Josh

    Snowden’s link and text don’t match. Does this have some connection to me? If so, what? Do people see things I wrote that have been tampered with to make no sense? Or did Griggs see some corrupted version of a blog comment? In the latter case, it doesn’t make much difference – FBI focus on him & the $$$ allocated to killing anyone who might help me could be enough to do him in.

  • #2121

    Josh

    Repeating my summary: because of misunderstandings, inability to imagine the truth, secrecy, no direct communication, I knew I had been approached, and scarecrow by u and Flor (well meaning and jealous), I arrived at the model of being conned by small time Internet grifters and/or identity thieves looking to steal K’s data. That was my main model between Feb. 2011 and June 2011. After then, I felt u and JFQ were female friends, working for criminals. In July 2012 I switched to the KGB idea. So I blamed your intentions between Feb. 2011 and June 2011. After 2012, I blamed reluctance to risk defection/new life.

  • #2123

    Josh

    Adler is about how love really matters or about why I believed we were over when u got angry and stopped talking to me for a few weeks while…???

    • #2124

      Josh

      I had been congratulating myself for my conscious decision to come back to CG after getting hurt the first time. When u walked away and at the same time I realized a lot of my understanding about u and what u were communicating was (apparently) wrong, I had some big adjusting to do. That didn’t happen in a day or a week. The CG part of me was lonely and confused and thought maybe I had made a terrible social investment while the real world part of me was energized and happy to have my own place and a new direction. I wasn’t sure about the way forward.

    • #2125

      Josh

      I didn’t even notice your clever clarification to begin with (not very present in mind). I like the challenge to trying to see a little bit of what u see. I didn’t meet anyone in Cambridge to interact with like that, let alone take that much interest in me. I didn’t understand any of that back in 2012 or 2013.

  • #2126

    Josh

    Some kind of candidate for honest message #1?

  • #2127

    Josh

    I mean, u probably could “negotiate” anything the CIA believed would keep u happily working for the same number of minutes per day as long as they demanded it and then quietly die in secret anonymity. I think they are probably pretty open in that “area”…

  • #2128

    Josh

    If I try to notice parallel streams at once I can’t hold them distinctly. It becomes like a blurry watercolor. I can probably improve, but it knowing myself, that area might be slow going.

  • #2129

    Josh

    Sometimes now, u remember old things that were hurtful at the time which u were not able to “process”. U feel better now and like to heal old wounds when u bump against them. When u do that now, u can help us by remembering the times when I didn’t know anything about u as <times when I didn’t know anything about u> and times when we were fighting as <times when we were fighting when I didn’t understand when u were the one that walked away>. Remembering that way can help.

    • #2130

      Josh

      One way it helps is to feel like I do try to take care of your feelings.

      If u bring up an old topic to talk about now, I don’t always know the most gentle way to talk about it like this. But u should feel like I would try. That’s truth.

  • #2131

    Josh

    The things that were most hurtful to me at the time are what I remember. The things that are most hurtful for u to remember are different. I have been clear on that. How can I help u today?

  • #2132

    Josh

    I saw later how u/us did get “windmilled” in the chess sense. U had things preventing u from explaining and eliminating your motivation to explain or talk. Still u were unhappy & scared I would go away & pay no more attention. I’m sorry that I couldn’t grasp the inconceivable with weak clues…

  • #2147

    Josh

    Every real cheer from u has meant a lot to me. I was really sad when wordfunph disappeared for a week.

  • #2153

    Josh

    Moving somewhere, while being time-consuming, difficult, and exposing me to a lot of attacks, would also not help. The FBI can follow wherever I go, and would do so. Finding some roommates in the same boat would help.

  • #2154

    Josh

    Today was intellectually a positive day. I didn’t get done everything I hoped to get done, but a) I discovered that polyurethane is even more powerful than I hoped in terms of effectiveness and how I can use it, and b) I added some more names to my list, and c) the contact with guy being attacked by Google adsense is interesting. A kind of thing I hope for. So overall, not so bad. I need to teach u to see that when u do things to annoy CIA/FBI they will react in negative ways, and so u should enjoy the knowledge that u did annoy them and hope it was to some actual material effect.

  • #2155

    Josh

    I focus on wanting to be next to u. I want to be your love/lover/closest one. There is no waver on that.

  • #2166

    Josh

    U are always work…we need to work smart, together. Is the picture meant to resemble anyone else? I couldn’t place it.

  • #2167

    Josh

    “Can’t believe I rolled snake eyes 8 times in a row. Such poor luck…”

    “That is unfortunately how the gaming business goes. I am so sorry.”

  • #2169

    Josh

    I know that u are probably the greatest flag football cornerback who has ever lived. I meditate on that & try to live up to it.

    Mantra

  • #2170

    Josh

    The way I feel, physically, is completely dominated by how much flux I am taking or avoiding. If I get away from flux…I feel good. There’s no doubt that I am not as good as I would be if I hadn’t been attacked for 4 years or if I was able to live/eat/exercise in a healthy way instead of living like a terrorist rat in a bunker taking fire. But when I’m not taking flux, I’m closer to good than bad. In that way, I never feel old in chronology because it’s completely irrelevant to my day/week/month.

  • #2171

    Josh

    Why do u keep wearing that 4×10^7 pound CIA coat?

    • #2172

      Josh

      They said the MOAB was 20,000 tons of TNT, or something like that. I was just going for “big” & hidden.

  • #2173

    Josh

    I thought that was a reference to me going around without my winter coat on today.

  • #2176

    Josh

    I appreciate all the love & support. It helps. At some point, trying to write a novel or solve Fermat’s Last Theorem in a hurricane becomes just silly. I haven’t reached that point yet, but I’m not sure if I have any way to avoid it. They are going to spend as much money and much people as it takes, and sooner or later somebody is going to die in an ugly way.,..I hope that won’t be me, but I only get 1 vote.

  • #2177

    Josh

    The FBI plan to spend infinite resources on preserving criminal lies is not adult-like in any sense that I understand.

    U are pretty perfect. I don’t want u to change. Maybe just realize that I can’t avoid feeling shitty fairly often, and that I’m not sure if we have a real game without u playing for yourself.

  • #2178

    Josh

    My analysis of the situation is like this: The FBI doesn’t care about the actual law – only about not getting caught. So no law applies. Individual people do not want to take individual responsibility for murder, or for hiring a murderer, etc. So long as I am not at public places where it is easy to murder someone at a specific time, in a specific way, then killing is awkward for them. Instead, they have very well developed systems they have used over and over to murder in a big group in a way that doesn’t look like a homicide and where no individual is taking individual responsibility for the act. But they have unlimited people and unlimited resources and tech to do eventually grind an isolated person into dust. Also, I have no good way of talking to anyone and getting help. I am doing pretty well under those circumstances, but how can I really make a change? Communication is blocked. Time spent away from my house is punished by installation of terror devices or delivery of some type of poisons. It’s a puzzle.

  • #2187

    Josh

    See, u get a lot of attention.

  • #2188

    Josh

    I want this woman to look like someone I know, but the only name I come up with is Paul Douglas. He had some funky story about parting ways with the television station, but I guess that’s irrelevant. She also looks a bit like one of Whoopi Goldberg’s nun friends in one of the Sister Act movies.

    ttps://twitter.com/USATODAY/status/853936923131432961

  • #2189

    Josh

    Right hand man does look like one version of a local dyngus I’ve seen.

  • #2198

    Josh

    Confession – for better or worse, today I’ve been focused on the things that are hurting or irritation me – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, intellectually, etc. I haven’t focused on the things that hurt u today.

    Nowadays, I can easily ignore birthdays, but I have to focus a little on tax days.

  • #2199

    Josh

    I was big let down. Until I started dodging criminals?

  • #2200

    Josh

    When u were afraid I wasn’t going to come through for u…u didn’t give me much of a way to reassure u more than I did or figure out what I could do or say. As soon as u trusted me enough to tell me, things started to work better for us.

  • #2201

    Josh

    I forsee us together getting a lot more exercise, reading a lot more, and doing more interesting things than Trump.

    While the FBI wants me dead, I’m going to continue to experience some huge environmental health issues I struggle to overcome on a daily basis.

    The Berge’s were just another ID to be occupied by many copies.

  • #2206

    Josh

    In my heart, the feeling that we are in good harmony with the world/friends makes us sexier & more together. I try to make u feel special because u are special to me. Always. We don’t have any big social conflicts. Feeling confident about us makes u feel sexy, so always want that too.

  • #2208

    Josh

    These move order (remembering) problems have been extraordinarily persistent. But I understand u were afraid of a lot of things and had reasons. But those aren’t the reasons u connect to your emotions in modern times.

  • #2209

    Josh

    It’s a shaggy 47 carat diamond ate my homework story. But I wanna take A every time, no matter.

  • #2210

    Josh

    I hope u can remember now that, from my side of things, that entire Long Beach episode was not any attempt at fighting. It was just a series of misunderstandings with u getting more and more upset. None of the things u were upset about were real.

    • #2211

      Josh

      Also, in the course of that conversation – u talked about other guys for the first time (fake), other lovers (real), and actual criminal activities u were somehow connected to (real).

      • #2212

        Josh

        I didn’t have any reason then (or now) to connect it to Emma.

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