This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by 
Josh December 17, 2016 at 11:29 pm.
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JoshIt can be tricky, trying to get a sense of what is really nonchalant for another person naturally, vs. a nonchalance, acquired by familiarity & competence acquired through a lot of hard work/blood/sweat/pain vs. what is only a mask of nonchalance.
Sometimes the best clues come in the stories that other people tell about the events that affected their feelings in profound ways that they remembered vividly later.
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JoshI meant to give u the idea that I really do understand, now, the ways in which a feeling of loyalty connection is a real emotional key/support for u. In 2012, I didn’t know u that well or know about your historical connections to me…so I had no sense of being in the vicinity of that sort of frame. NOW…u know you’re my heart treasure, so I don’t have to think about it so much either.
About friends’ loyalty & how u feel…it’s a tough situation when everyone, no matter how they like each other, wants & needs to be someplace else…wanting/needing to deal in fantasies of a better tomorrow, making that as concrete as possible.
I normal times, u know that people all over the world have romantic/sexual relationships that mean so very much to them & they are not all anywhere near complete or perfect. That much is clear…recognizing it for truth, while happily pursuing your own version of relationship perfection…u don’t want to intellectually be in a position where someone else recognizing that truth & fantasizing for their own life feels disrespectful per se. As people, we can be miserable in so many different ways, & happy in so many different ways, so it usually makes sense to think happy thoughts.
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JoshIn some small (or big) way, we all dream of being more important…(don’t always know how to achieve that in practical terms)
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=233760
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JoshNo reason to get overly distracted by fantasies that don’t amuse u. People might say this or that, well intentioned or not, but needn’t dwell on it if it isn’t brightening your day.
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JoshI’ve learned to have faith that u and I always want to be groovy together (and be careful with offhand compiler references…). U know that’s true…some kind of super positive love energy comes naturally…so let’s skip useless noise & focus on what we can do that’s positive, helpful…some kind of step towards righting our world. U can learn by continuing to test the boundaries of your cage & noticing <what are the things that they seem most bothered by or most concerned that u are doing?> Those are good things to push harder at…partly or more clues & partly just to fight back & tie up resources.
The wife of Bills kicker Dan Carpenter implies Richard Sherman should be castrated for his hit on Carpenter. https://t.co/WMBZ0JWSSO pic.twitter.com/ZGKZVPyWJW
— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) November 8, 2016
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JoshI see a lot of clues that they plan to ultimately claim the editors were some kind of advanced AI service they developed and act very proud of their tech & use of the public $$$….
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JoshYour confidence is good now. Big improvement. Big difference. U know how much u matter to me.
When something comes along to test your confidence, u pass with flying colors. So do u need to test yourself all day long or revel in the experience? Not really…not if u don’t wish that today.
There are a lot of different aspects to <what is real>. Something which matters to me is the reality of situations that promote good solutions for all concerned parties…if spook is robbing/stealing/torturing someone in the back room to throw a party…for me, understanding that significantly affects my perception of the party. It’s part of the reality of the party. When u wonder about what is real, consider whether that type of reality is being included in the measurement.
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JoshTheoretical goal of campaign finance laws is to have all the big $$$ sources that are backing candidate be revealed.
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=233934 -
JoshSome folks felt there was a reason to distract u today intead of doing more slave work. That’s not worth much, but u could try to figure out why. I was taking notes the other day about how “Frances” coincidentally being at the scene where 7 CIA folk got blown up in a security lapse. Maybe that wasn’t a popular topic???
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JoshEmotionally, I’m still in a place where my gut reaction to all the paths after an imagined victory is a kind of euphoria – glad to live, glad to be free of pain, glad to help some other people, glad to help the world, glad to see my friends, glad to get them out of prison, glad to get on with life. Sure I care about lots of other things & details, but I’m happy with most of the paths…like I’ve said consistently, all along, imagining dating/romance doesn’t have to be there for me to be happy thinking about it.
Today, we’re still up against long odds & suffering. I’m glad for the communication we have. If you say that you mainly like to imagine some dating/romance in the future to feel really positive about it…I understand, & I’m still glad you tell me…glad you feel like connecting, & hope we connect more in the future. But I don’t know how to be super constructive with it today. I focus a lot on my current love relationship because it feels right & best for me…I never mean to ignore my other friends….don’t always know how to help more today than by doing the things I’m doing. Try to keep bringing things to my attention that you feel are most helpful or relevant.
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=234255
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JoshI’m just focused on our struggle + plus immediate friend and family issues. My consciousness about US politics and media is still adapting to how completely phony most of it is. Trump’s silliness seems more out in the open about that, in many ways…he doesn’t make any pretense of being serious, reflective, or informed. His is skeptical of most all argument-from-authority mouthpieces. Does that set a “dangerous” precedent? Only if people come to think ignorance & lack of thought is a better style for getting positive results. As I said before, I feel that’s Trump’s undermining of DC seriousness is slightly helpful to us, so I don’t stress about it in any way.
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JoshOh u are getting so good at relaxing
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessuser?uname=GrahamClayton
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