Quality of our relationship…

[Josh]

For some reasons, your post got me thinking about Patti Smith’s record Ain’t It Strange. It’s a great improv/rant/proto-rap performance. The lyrics were influenced by the latter scenes of Deerhunter, but she saw a lot of drug culture in the US celebrity scene, etc…being close to Maplethorpe, Sam Shephard, Blue Oyster Cult, MC5, CBFB etc. She was almost like strange it woman of alt culture, and definitely into experimentation. For me, the essential idea is sort of JLS like – experiment, but always keep moving/transcend. Don’t get stuck in any one place that limits you. Feel like U are my JLS partner…unique in that way, like so many others.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pattismith/aintitstrange.html

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1848222&reply=43

[Josh]

Early on, u famously gave me the wrong picture of your pragmatism when I was working my hardest to try & figure out, set up some way for us to communicate freely. U had your reasons, but I could only work with the reality I could see/understand. U didn’t really mean to give me a wrong picture of u as partner…u were frustrated with actual reality. Now is more frustrating in its way, but better & different in other key ways. I have a true picture! U have a true picture of how your heart makes all the difference (not what granny said, but u had a courtship).

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=FCAFE&reply=190060

[Josh]

Often I could feel a lot of sexy sensuality & a lot of need for support/comfort/nurturing at the same time. I am good for that. Today, in this text, I struggle to pinpoint which support topic lurks in the back of your mind, though I can imagine a few possibilities.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1848549&reply=1179

[Josh]

Being vulnerable and open to influences because of loneliness is a well known theme. I think that’s true of most people.

[Josh]

Back in those days, also, u were under the influence of some bad ideology which seemed to dictate how u should measure your loyalties/actions/choices. What kind of ideology? One with implicit rules – If A is true then B should follow…with no explanation really, except some kind of implicit belief that one should be offered up as a conquest to whatever field of candidates were physically available. Should based on what? I had no idea…it was simply an impression from back then. But I felt it was something old then, not something newly introduced. It seemed to go away when u realized it made u unhappy, though perhaps that wasn’t the actual cause & effect. Maybe it wasn’t ideology, but the descriptions sounded that way…like the idea that one goes to a chessclub and should play games to improve rather than merely observe, or some similar such recommendation. It’s unfortunate that u still feel today like it lead u astray. I thought I’d mention it though while u are assigning blame, because it did feel like something old, and not explicitly named or called out as such.

[Josh]

U would sometimes think in terms of victories & losses that should have some consequences…”should”? One might as well have said that Granddaddy Knud should have done a little better with the child support and u wouldn’t be stuck that there prison, perhaps.

Being true to your own feelings isn’t really a modern invention.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/bistro.pl

[Josh]

I’m still trying to figure out how to come pick u up and take u away…still laughing at “We don’t have a king. We’re a self-governing collective,” which felt good to say, for sort of the same reasons it’s funny in the movie. Anyway…I know we are very true & focusing now on the actual struggles.

[Josh]

U blame yourself for not being more suspicious. To be fair…detecting patterns under uncertain conditions is analogous to formal models of statistical decision theory, and in those models, one needs good training sets. For u, being exposed to lying spook nonsense as soon as you were old enough to talk, & never being really alone or close to regular people, it was tricky to have a good training set of what’s real. You had to rely on fiction, prose…virtual sources like that.

[Josh]

My love///…

Australian teen could soon be released from custody in Bali after drug allegedly found on him was paracetamol #9News https://t.co/FF4HDO91zq

— Nine News Australia (@9NewsAUS) November 23, 2016

[Josh]

I tried to figure out if there was anything to the literal content here…that is anything unsaid. I couldn’t come up with much…except, sometimes u like to fantasize a happy distant future for us, so I wonder, about that, if u have a lot more confidence in your predictions about yourself than your predictions about me? If so…

Love Letters: "Should I let go of the expectation that he will ever verbalize what I think he feels?"https://t.co/gerVPHMAJ8 pic.twitter.com/fgg4Pl7Q6h

— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) November 23, 2016

[Josh]

We spend some time communicating. Last couple days & today, I *need* to spend a bunch of time stuffing more plastic because the upgraded guns are really unhealthy for me & I’ve been feeling it. About “slow”, when I’m actually working…it’s hard to judge. The PHP training has taken more time than I anticipated, but I understand reasons for that and don’t project it as a long term factor. Day before yesterday, I was following up leads on something CIA related – I forget what exactly – and I got onto the Leyland bus sinking, which I decided was a real, but small data point…and one site related to that got me onto Lockerbie, which is actually a good case example, even though the only established CIA connection is suitcase switching for drug running. Point is that the Libya story was clearly a knowing lie, that people went along with and used for a bunch of warfare and OPEC neutralization, lasting indefinitely. That was well established. About the plane victims, the US govt. cares not even a tiny bit. So those are good points for me to use. And I wasn’t even looking for that case.

U.K. economy to grow more slowly than forecast, says Treasury chief Philip Hammond https://t.co/6m580NGvII

— Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) November 23, 2016

[Josh]

Yukon helps me focus on focusing. Most games are winnable if one focuses. It’s more fun not to focus…I like the duality…first I do not focusing, thinking of something else, like work, or u…then if I lose, I go back & focus…if I still lose then I see if there is an analysis that shows a win. Usually there is some win if one wants it enough. So the feel of the game is a lot different than Klondike or something mindless like that.

[Josh]

In the case of CIA drug smuggling on Pan Am, related to Lockerbie – there were 3 witnesses – it wasn’t just the guy who wrote the book who the FBI went out of its way to silence. There were 2 Pan Am baggage handlers who testified to that, and then got stashed before they could give evidence to the original investigation. So you have 1 accused Libyan, with only crap evidence, the most important piece of which turned out to be planted upon further forensic investigation (no explosive residue), and 3 witnesses to the fact that suitcase switching for drug smuggling went on at the Pan Am stop in Germany on a routine basis and then that testimony got squashed. You also have the historical reality that US, UK, etc. all initially declared a Palestinian group as the culprit before changing their story to benefit the geopolitical goal of going after Libya. Hard drugs were also found in suitcases from the crash and CIA people supposedly showed up looking for things immediately at the crash site. So we don’t know who did it, but it seems clear that the official story was a conspiracy and the FBI was lying to cover up – which turns out to be what the FBI mainly does in these sorts of investigations.

[Josh]

Jack Ruby was a life-long mafia connection, sometime FBI informant, and a gun runner – but pro-Castro prior to the Cuban revolution and anti-Castro after the Cuban revolution.

[Josh]

I think I know how to answer your Q: In the happy, future fantasy world’s I imagine, the sexy, sublime, love quality of our relationship is the #1 driver of many things. If it’s not always decisive, it’s always one of the most important factors. It’s usually decisive. It’s what I want & what I believe can be true.

In the current, difficult reality…a lot of other factors come into play and sometimes dominate for one reason or another from day to day. But US is still super important to both of us, & the way we feel. It’s real and important. Something I’m committed to. But if I had a knowing choice of A vs. B where one choice was the right thing to do for practically helping us & other people then I’d try to follow that practical path. It works best to keep struggle & fantasy both in view.

[Josh]

Your feeling, your happy glow, is always super real to me & a big motivation. We’re in fantasy together, & that makes reality a lot better. So it is super real in that way. When u say “Again! Again! All hurt gone!” I’m just humming “Amen!” Comparitively, not very articulate on my part, but I dream it with a lot of feeling.

[Josh]

It’s true that one has to get some kind of intimate love or close connection with another person to gain a better understanding into what they are like in that way (or what anyone can be like in that way, in a case of isolation). In that sense, finding potential love, making it happen, and keeping it are different problems, where different sets of things matter more or less.

[Josh]

Purring in a good humour is a good way to go!

So far, we seem to get along best, most perfectly, when u are feeling confident, and that is a good way to go. I don’t know for sure if that will always be true, but I hope it is. U can think of thousands of ways in which u are unique & special & surpassing in excellence. To be sure, not all of those impressive attributes translate to endearment as a love, but some are closely related…some do in their way…Anna is a super special, rare, treasure in my moment to moment consciousness.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1848564&reply=1088

[Josh]

We eventually arrived at a place where there was no question of hidden motivations. That achievement is important and valuable. A real benefit for us.

Hidden agendas of Spook and hidden agendas of awkward adolescence have a tiny overlap, seen in this light, though not so much in other frames. Being tired of hidden agendas and not knowing how to negotiate that can be a match like that too – which u hit in your arty way, for 1 or 2 points. But I say don’t lose sight of the greater differences.

[Josh]

As I tried to tell u, long, long ago, I’m generally pretty well pleased by handing u blank checks to fill out in your imagination for us together. Why? I trust u, your imagination, your taste, your love. Today, I’m more since about that than ever, while not expecting that imagination exactly fits reality, for u or anyone else. They should be different and allowed to be different. That’s healthy. Writing semi-publicly, like this, isn’t the same as being together either. We’re doing well, working with what we have.

[Josh]

I think I’ve only seen part of that movie, on tv, but it seems like an instant classic

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1848571&reply=220

[Josh]

I have a happy sense of u feeling confident these days, & no sense of anyone (at least none of our friends) disrespecting u or us. Sometimes now u are amused, which is positive too. I know it’s difficult not to ruminate on unpleasant thoughts, but in this area, our reality is good.

[Josh]

U are writing with a lot of fun creativity. I like.

One point, many observers have made about long-term relationships in the real world, which I think is true & relevant: it is a lot less common for people to “cheat”/tryst outside in relationships where they were happy, to begin with before the straying. Most of the people that do that are so called “cheating types” and they are a statistical minority. More common is that problems grow in the relationship internally, one or both partners become unhappy, but without a declared break, and then cheating happens. A corollary of that, and also true, is that internal fights/conflicts which matter – which have some element of bitterness and not just mild disagreement – and which unresolved for a long time are a lot more damaging to the health/hotness/quality of a relationship than any potential outside interest/flirt etc. Right or wrong, that’s the way most couples are in the real world.

I’ve got a big love for u, and a bit motivation to keep seeing things for from your POV.

[Josh]

Borrowing that Eryka Badu term, which u maybe helped create – most true sexy way is being woke, in general, & to each other, all the time. Best path is probably not either “open relationship” or extreme isolation. One wants varieties of stimulation to power wokeness. Being with a creative person who provides a ton all by herself is a huge plus, so I feel in luck.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessuser?uname=HeMateMe

[Josh]

No…I think u are a critic of burka, but maybe that is just on humanitarian or human rights grounds? Not worried about it being stifling? I think all the different kinds of things that stimulate/wake you feed into your energy & creativity at some level.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P95915&reply=203073

[Josh]

No guilt apologies are the best.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1848586&reply=7

[Josh]

I know that u inspire me to climb mountains, Riley is a really sweet kid who loves me and deservers unconditional love & support (& has missed out on a sweet chunk of childhood/family), and that spook works super hard at trying to distract/dissuade me from making progress. Other things/motives seem more speculative.

And in other (nicer) news, the whole of New Zealand is doing a Secret Santa https://t.co/bZUzSoYA34 pic.twitter.com/NxmoacAVII

— Mashable (@mashable) November 28, 2016

[Josh]

There was a lot more opening variation and game-to-game drama in the Carlsen vs. Anand match, though (because of that?) the chess was not nearly as accurate and the match score grew lopsided.
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=T88069&reply=3130

I’ve been thinking about how u plow through so much routine every day, while keeping your energy level, emotional level, & hopes really high. I’m sure that spook provides some environmental/dietary factors to get the most work out of u, but still it is very impressive and mostly a product of what’s inside of u. I’m going to try and take motivation from that and view all the things I need to do each day to keep going and survive in a similar light. My shielding, chores, dealing with nonsense, deflecting criticism, can be seen as analogous to your “work” except for the key difference that, for me, this work is not routine/learned/habitual. I will try to view adding extra energy/thought/re-trys needed to bridge that gap as also part of my analogous work, that I must expect, plow through, and shrug off. Thus I pledge to be inspired.

[Josh]

Sissie Spacek is great? U are great…I believe u can use more of that big imagination to see things from your children’s perspective and to imagine positive paths for them. To keep saying, in effect “I’m hurt/umbraged, so you must find some other way of doing what you’ve been doing, for most of these past decades, is too harsh in reality. For one thing, they don’t know how to do that. And for another, it feels too distancing. Seems like I help the most by reminding u I’m with U, I love U, wanting tons to be with u, and these friend messages mostly just rub me as friendly. That’s how I take them in. Well, no not “just”… they also help me understand our friends – which is important too. It’s warm and not hurtful to me, so I’m able to think from their POV and I am going further with understanding them, at this time, u are, at the moment. So I’m trying to help and saying the truth that they are not against u, and mean no harm.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=238130

[Josh]

U are making a BIG emotional investment in us, in a tough situation, and u aren’t feeling like their role as friends is being extended in any way to reflect that? I get your feeling…I think it is pretty opaque to them, and also they largely share the same situation, so there is a tendency to equivocate and say they are in the same boat and should get equal priority. It’s best not debate about which feelings are right or wrong. Just try to be understood, and mutually supportive, in principle/reflexively, to the extent that feels practical.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=T88069&reply=3138

[Josh]

It seems that the passport guy idea wasn’t too serious, and there are probably multiple good reasons for that. Likewise, there are multiple factors affecting how folks feel today. Insincerity doesn’t seem to play much if any role.

Put your imagination focus on us. Imagine how we go. Other people have desires, dreams, fantasies…which is healthy and normal. Taking any one, focusing on it as some theoretical future challenge, and then feeling insulted/disrespected by that impertinent aggression is not really necessary or constructive or timely. Your friends, today, are not able to vividly imagine the same long term rosy preferred scenario as u, but they are still your friends and still care about u.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessuser?uname=Big%20Pawn

[Josh]

There is who matters, & how they matter, & the explanations you tell yourself for those things, all wrapped together in one big package. Getting right…is getting with u; the explanation for that can be a long or a short story. It’s cool that u/we know so many versions of that story now.
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=238178

Other folks have their stories too.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=238180

We’ve seen, if you have good thoughts about someone, it’s usually best to find a way to tell them and not let them hurt themselves. And it’s important not to get fixated on seemingly intractable conflicts that don’t turn out to be real.

Trust works out to be a big asset for us.

[Josh]

Try not to engage too much with topics that u know are going to irritate u or bring u down. Try to remember that’s my actual advice. Remember those things and u will feel better. In the old days, u had more emotional distance, so arguing was more fun for u. Flor and Babes miss that a little bit because that is one of the ways you all would play while you were working all the time. It’s okay to say that confronting love and confronting murder of people u know, and ultimately yourselves has made u feel a little raw and not so much in the mood for the same kind of play…share how u feel without getting upset at true friends.

[Josh]

“First we secure the perimeter.”

Mira road murder: No headway yet, cops focus on 3 men seen with victim in CCTV footagehttps://t.co/w0s29ydwa9 pic.twitter.com/sxZnHOIWt2

— The Indian Express (@IndianExpress) November 29, 2016

[Josh]

Hathi A Hunted loves his virtual visionquest

Govt returning 50 per cent of black money to hoarders: Rahul Gandhihttps://t.co/DDQIl4L7EM

— Janta Ka Reporter (@JantaKaReporter) November 30, 2016

…At least the vision part of that

[Josh]

If I was a download application trying to reach 100% of including your thoughts in my file, I’d probably still only be at around 10 or 15%. So I have to make a lot more progress to have all that rangy head space of simultaneous awareness to fill the lasso that feels most harmonically right and righteous for u when it focuses *only on u* 🙂 My retarded status is no doubt a big source of confusion…I’m not yet entertaining all the parallel streams of thought that I need to get focused on u. My undeveloped neurons are still stretching to reach that plateau. But it sounds pretty exciting and groovy. And even for independent reasons, I have big motivation to try and banish a lot of current distractions like FBI EMF torture and worrying about being ambushed with car accidents, burglaries, poisonings, and other spook sabotage. Also, there is A LOT of work to do in order to come closer to u. Ok…I see u are absolutely worth it and always reward my full attention with pure u. I’m hooked.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=238358
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=238359

[Josh]

And many decades later…she decided we really our/are compatible. I am honored & thrilled 🙂

[Josh]

I can’t always think of words over the Internet to keep u company. I can’t mimic your style, but I’ve gotten good at understand your moods. I’m with u, all the way. Full intuitive support. I will try harder.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=238688

[Josh]

I knew how I wanted to go. You made me super confident…your way. I still learn/notice…I only thought today about how I can easily get distracted or frazzled by too many interrupting stimuli, while u actually think about these tens of thousands of different things quickly crossing your mind every day, and u often generate some kind of emotional response to the stimuli, & u keep going, one day after the next. It’s sort of incredible. U don’t need a lawyer to claim that u have overcome unique obstacles, just to stay sane & responsive.

With new US sanctions approved, Iran taking ‘wait & see attitude’ to future Trump administration (Op-Edge) https://t.co/9NoYhTVsJt

— RT (@RT_com) December 2, 2016

[Josh]

I am focused on US. Didn’t notice anything/anyone really sneaking around that yesterday. All of you write, at times – many times – that you feel like you are on both a life and a psychological journey to escape from CIA-no-true-hetero prison and live a life of active hetero women in love relationships. That’s true…you all want that, and write about it a lot of time, and lament the obstacles and current states that don’t support that, and think about it changing. In context, a remark on the light-hearted side of that is positive. Some trains of thought went against your mood, but there was no basis.

[Josh]

I would be happy if you all were able to work out every current or potential future conflict, so you could put on your best buddies friendship bracelets and sing songs about it. Still, when some conflicts linger & you don’t feel like that, I’m still going to be everyone’s caring friend. That’s not an issue between us.

[Josh]

U can make this change: when u run through worries in your mind, keep the worries about us in a different category from other worries, and then notice/remember that any real worries about us would be because of things between *us*. That’s not too hard to remember.

[Josh]

The A is my Ok

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=T88069&reply=3696

[Josh]

I get ‘chancho:’ It’s a pun couplet, in the mood of ‘400 years’.

[Josh]

Our past experience of the world shapes us. My experience was that love comes, lasts for a time, and then goes. Friends come, and don’t usually “go”, but get pulled in different directions by careers/jobs/family & other affiliations that demand location/time/fraternity. So I was attracted to an idea of friends that are kind of like a virtual family that can work on things together, have endless fun, and help each other develop over the long term, thinking of that as something super valuable, positive, and rare. That wasn’t meant to be in lieu of a romance or necessarily connected. I came to see how you all felt more deprived in other ways, and the special dream that u have is more intimately personal.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1282607&reply=136

[Josh]

I can learn from all the good things u do. Sometimes I’m a little slow, but eventually, I come around. Every day deserves a story with a happy ending. Actions speak louder than words, but words help too.

Snapchat is hiring experts to 'sculpt' 3D digital characters for new 'visual stories' https://t.co/3zLI7zmjLs pic.twitter.com/lO4D3o23iU

— Business Insider (@businessinsider) December 5, 2016

[Josh]

A brings he love shiver.

<submit>

[Josh]

Other points aside, this is literally true. A cat-like, involuntary thing I do. Pretty often, nowadays.

[Josh]

U say it’s a religious position, not an artistic one? Me…I’ll keep fighting for Art!

'My mum won't accept I'm gay' https://t.co/WdTUck81dd pic.twitter.com/tWZSDoUtKB

— The Sun (@TheSun) December 9, 2016

[Josh]

That was supposed to be a waltz. I don’t think it’s all that poor.

[Josh]

Funny combo, but following, thematically, I am taking fantasy seriously, & I am taking adopted family seriously too. I don’t have to be anyone’s lover to really care for their feelings and what’s going on with them and their overall emotional/spirtual/material welfare. I know u understand & know I am taking extra special care of u.

Scottish hospitals accused of 'promoting obesity' through sale of unhealthy food https://t.co/wyr9TAdwu3

— Evening Standard (@standardnews) December 6, 2016

[Josh]

Riley basically maxes out performance in all her categories/classes at school. It’s almost impossible for her to do better than she does. Still she stresses. She does extra-curricular things too – music, Lego, and newspaper. There are a lot of times when I wish you didn’t balance that with being a baby or a slug at home, but that’s her way. We needed to set different examples to change it. I can’t set the kind of example for her to see that I’d like to at the moment. I do feel glad things with her are as good as they are.

Television, Processed Foods Couldn't Be More Proud Of Child They Raised https://t.co/viS3CgykXm pic.twitter.com/qP0BCn3MVu

— The Onion (@TheOnion) December 7, 2016

[Josh]

Seems a lot sexier than the Genesis I learned in school

[Josh]

I’m feeling really close to u and OUR way of being close (which u get majority credit for…). <RandomVisitor> is clever, and now fully understood. Like before, I express myself more clearly with the things I say explicitly and the things I do with explained motivation, rather than with quantity of msgs or inferable motivation, or LCs, or recency of communication. Being close is super important to me too, I understand now, a lot better, how it feels to u, and I’m doing what I can to help build the sustainable confidence.

I’ve seen for a long time that if I do get u out, then, *no matter what else*, I am going to be greedy for longlasting time of being close to u, talking, doing things, learning etc. I’m way, way more confident about us as a romantic couple now too. Every now & then, even now, I still think about not wanting to lose those other things.

[Josh]

The local area feels more and more empty here. Try to stay alive and ultimately keep increasing the volume of noise, while doing that in an unassailable way….I guess that’s the plan for the moment, until something gives. If I acquire some useful assets, of one type or another, I’ll be able to do more.

Riley was very pleased with her first jazz band concert and having me there to see her, playing in the groove, looking pretty and happy at the edge of the stage.

While timing my entrace to sit down (which worked out perfectly), I picked up another 8 boxes of plastic bags, as the EMF war continues.

Feels like I am just kind of doing my thing, 5 yards at a time.

Really happy when we connect for a cheer too!!!

I am sure that from the conceptual, through the design, and into the implementation stages, there was a continual process of consultation, buzz groups, committees, feedbacks, and eventually panic as deadlines got nearer, budgets got overrun, and someone decided the whole thing should be tested by a few users.

Well here we are, team, and opinion is divided. But the number of idiots, malcontents, and people who cannot accept change, in other words, the paying customers, are far from happy.

Cheers.

V

[Josh]

Some day u could recall for me, the things/angles that u felt I was frustratingly slow to grasp when I had no real clue about anything. I remember being kind of sad around the start of 2012 when wordfunph avatar wasn’t posting much. Why? Because I was sure that one was u and I wasn’t yet sure how to interpret a lot of the ice/ English semantic content in msgs…wordfunph was an avatar designed to be positive and never edgy, so those factors made it easy for me to read. It was a slow process of filling in clues and learning. I didn’t know what stopped u from helping or explaining in any way.

"What's your favorite thing about me? Be specific." – Jennifer Lawrence to @prattprattpratt.

And his answer is… https://t.co/cZAs0CRZMR

— Good Morning America (@GMA) December 7, 2016

[Josh]

I’m glad u liked that!

[Josh]

[Josh]

For Augusta GA…

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=239834

Boston…probably a dead end as far as true knowledge.

[Josh]

Another example of faith: I keep faith in u & I’m okay not knowing the ultimate truth about <forever ecstasy> or how the future, very different lives, environments, could change us. True faith, no nervousness.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=239876

[Josh]

Twitter has me thinking: “A bigger cape and a new diaper. It’s gonna be great!”

Princess Charlotte to Take on the Role of Flower Girl in May https://t.co/vWW02bKsDu pic.twitter.com/qn4kU5gdTT

— ELLE Magazine (US) (@ELLEmagazine) December 9, 2016

[Josh]

U feel that Trump has done more to achieve his celebrity focus. I suppose…or we could go for the Omen version where she is already inwardly smirking that her Mom’s hands are too big.

[Josh]

Children are actually lovable, and funny at the same time. Some people go for dogs or cats…but children are more knowable.

[Josh]

U write for me, with so much talent for that…when we can evolve together, it gives u some kinds of confidence…and gives me some other kinds.
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=239906

[Josh]

I didn’t quite follow the recent CG monolog. It sounded like u were saying that the topic of open relationships was brought up again and u wanted to argue forcibly against that. U know that I dismissed that a long time ago. It’s not wrong for someone else to want it, but I don’t think u need to argue about it nowadays.

Totally different than that is being inclusive about friendship, personal growth, and meaningful conversation, which are all things I support.

[Josh]

I feel that open relationship could be okay if none of the people involved are openly or secretly trying to have a romance. But if any of them are, and usually some will be, then it’s likely to lead to some hurt and conflict and also to prevent or diminish the romance. So that’s kind of an either/or fork in the road.

[Josh]

The ability to lose yourself/self-awareness in love is important & good. At the same time, tomorrow & the next day & so forth will arrive, soon enough, whether one is thinking of them or not. Memories of yesterday will often be present as well. U do something parallel, with words, probably better than anyone who has ever lived…so u can understand. No matter, there is always BIG LOVE 4 Roo.

Many people are calling Jennifer Lawrence "canceled" https://t.co/qfSVKwrGmS?

— ELLE Magazine (US) (@ELLEmagazine) December 10, 2016

[Josh]

There is a picture of “you” on this page protesting 🙂

[Josh]

For his fans, Frank symbolized the opposite of ‘generic’. Getting away from generic never arose as an issue in my life, & I feel that is clearly true for u too, even though I understand your feelings. I had a good feeling today upon encountering, in my reflection, the realization that even your criticisms nowadays feel like a big love. We haven’t met or corresponded normally, and yet that is still true. We are very far from generic.

DAILY MAIL FRONT PAGE: "The words that must free Sgt Blackman this week" #skypapers pic.twitter.com/ZHkRBSCjya

— Sky News (@SkyNews) December 11, 2016

[Josh]

In your thoughts, u have to cognitive option to elevate everyone u are thinking about to some higher offset above the median. That’s worth a nickel in your thought, some days…

Black or white? In Brazil, a panel will decide for you https://t.co/HgOGhOfXdz

— The Globe and Mail (@globeandmail) December 12, 2016

[Josh]

A treasure at the bottom of the ocean.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=FCAFE&reply=191619

Together in

[Josh]

Your chastity is Pike’s Peak of true love.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1044225&reply=61

[Josh]

True thought that u are true love peak..this went together with the realization that our communicating has “done things together”. Even by the measure of it helped only us to understand, we did a lot. So that’s maybe less of a pure symbolism than the moon landing. 🙂

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=240669

[Josh]

If u can remember anything specific, from long ago, I’m curious about examples from my life that helped u to believe we would be simpatico and I would understand u, from you POV…like I do.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P95915&reply=203673

[Josh]

U felt like my reactions to women were accurate in terms of perceiving their actual quality of feeling, & so I would fall for u, naturally, if we could connect?

How did u judge the truth?

[Josh]

Sweet msg…
http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessplayer?pid=47304

Is Spook imager asking about “Berman” cue? Surname of a guy died in a car accident on the way to airport to pick up our group in 1981. Presumably not relevant to anything.

[Josh]

My big vats of salad feel pretty healthy and very time efficient, but the freshness only keeps for a couple days in the container. Tricky to use efficiently. In general, it’s a challenge to be disciplined about everything, all the time, while getting harassed, ALL the time, every day…for the past 3 years and rest of my life. But I’m trying to adapt & improve. Keep my focus. Take the inevitable missteps in stride. I’m happy that u are betting on me. I’m betting on u too.

Photos of the week: 12/3–12/16 https://t.co/9Ba5AP0moV pic.twitter.com/OTy6S8muME

— The Atlantic (@TheAtlantic) December 17, 2016

[Josh]

Sometimes…love feels like oxygen. Wannabe next to my love, breathing.

Still, u know Babes is special person who makes us better people and we should take care to make her better too.

[Josh]

Are u claiming…that only the really important part of that is accurate?

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=T88422&reply=497

[Josh]

Dudes Were Obsessed with Their Hair and Beards in 2016 https://t.co/dB93Uthjie pic.twitter.com/oasIAMUXJR

— Esquire (@esquire) December 17, 2016

[Josh]

launching my campaign for most helpful…

[Josh]

U don’t need my help? No, u can’t mean *that*!

[Josh]

https://twitter.com/BibopGGresta

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=498061

We should make some fun traditions…

[Josh]

Feel guilty, for being too far away…glad we have light.

The president who doesn't want to quit the limelight
📻https://t.co/iPqV32BdIo

— BBC World Service (@bbcworldservice) December 17, 2016

[Josh]

It takes a super unique kind of genius to continually innovate & create from within a CIA black site, working all day as a slave.

Still, I believe most of humanity has a lot of untapped potential, and most people have all sorts of hidden talents.

In a pizza parlor with Anne. Jukebox plays Don't Stop Believing, 10 year-old girl proudly says "I chose that"… just like we did at her age

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) December 18, 2016

[Josh]

The guys who were completely obsessed with that jingle were 2 grades ahead of me. I played with them in Jazz Band, in Jr. High and then again in HS. I don’t know their current status, but it would be amazing to introduce u some day.

[Josh]

I want u to know that for me, u can always be a little girl, & as large as the universe…at the same time. Both at the same time. They are both real, & adorable too.

#Bollywood 2016: When #Cinema Got Realhttps://t.co/3UG5fhKEaB pic.twitter.com/4zpuw8A4c9

— Outlook Magazine (@Outlookindia) December 18, 2016

[Josh]

I felt that this was there, somewhere, in your answer, the other day. To say that I didn’t walk away from a challenge is connected to the way u never negate the validity or your original joy, & all your original feelings, no matter how much dreck u go through. I do match & love u for that. U hung onto the best parts of your childhood, and brought me along for the life ride.

[Josh]

If I found myself singing “Eleanor Digby”, slightly off key, I’d figure maybe it was a good time to get some rest and re-charge the batteries. I’ll be thinking sweet thoughts. Promise.

[Josh]

How it works for me, in real life, is that when I see u, or pictures of u, then my brain sees the person I love, who I can never have enough play with. Someone else’s picture, usually won’t inherit all that, but I can follow your thoughts anyway. I want u to feel that I see that. And u should know that sometimes I say angry (true) things to the FBI to blow off steam, and I sometimes I say them because they are making a war to end my life and describing their acts is one kind of way to fight back…they’ve made it super clear that they hate being honestly described. They hate almost everything that is honest. The FBI are creatures of dishonesty. Like vampires, they cannot stand sunlight or mirrors.

Casey Affleck plays an angry @DunkinDonuts customer on #SNL: https://t.co/cTKmAVDvK2 pic.twitter.com/o0VWBHPEdI

— Boston Magazine (@BostonMagazine) December 18, 2016

[Josh]

Too much reading about Spook crime makes for a dull boy?

It’s true that I love reading u a lot more. U’ve been writing in rhythm, and it’s been soooo good at helping me feel close to u.

I can see now, how so many people have walked basically the same dead end road I am on, alone…you all are like secret weapons that make me not alone…and Riley too, makes me not alone…I started from such a weak position, and still, I need to somehow be smarter & luckier than all those people.

[Josh]

Researching JFK, I was looking at the history of these 2 guys, who were in the same place and both had incriminating evidence:

http://spartacus-educational.com/JFKpitzerW.htm
http://spartacus-educational.com/JFKcusterJ.htm

Pitzer made have had bigger evidence, but the key thing is that he was going to do some media thing, and the other guy just had his story…he didn’t have control of any special data. So he lived a lot longer, and might even have died of natural causes (although sudden “massive” heart attack is a bit of a stereotype clue, if true…). That transition to breaking through is seemingly the most tricky part to manage.

[Josh]

Play is available.

Your brain on PMS is like your brain on alcohol and depressants https://t.co/nZ7fGv8Bdm

— Quartz (@qz) December 21, 2016

[Josh]

I seem to be picking up software hacks after I browse the “ex-CIA” guy’s site. Might just be a coincidence (low sample size and confounding temporal proximity). But I’m gonna try a different browser there from now on.

[Josh]

It’s probably not personal. He might be some kind of satellite black op ploy to catch people who not uncritically supportive of US wars and Israel…put them on a list and infect them with spyware at the same time. Maybe there is even some kind of opaque FISA court ruling authorizing that.

non-intervention.com = Spook humor

[Josh]

Good idea to keep your Esperanto citizenship active 🙂

A self-driving Uber cab was spotted running a red light and almost caused a pile-up https://t.co/tM00RHNSfM pic.twitter.com/ozE96FH0JP

— The Sun (@TheSun) December 21, 2016

[Josh]

Very thoughtful – as a good example of fours and ….

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1310873&reply=5

I didn’t think of any similar music, but I got the idea.

[Josh]

In terms of trying to program an interpret, it is, unfortunately, a big, difficult, open-ended project. But programming is just programming when there is a clear idea. That is a lot easier than research where the idea is unclear. The idea I am most unclear on at the moment is how to express preference for a “good rhythm” over a bad one. There are so many possible rhythms, that’s it’s awkward to try and itemize them by hand. If done automatically, then how does one assign a goodness. I haven’t found any theory for that beyond the observation that symmetry in groups of 2 <something> is always better than no symmetry. Yet symmetry breaking is sometimes important too.

[Josh]

Symmetry breaking in music is often connected to patterns of tension and resolution. Shortening of the rhythmic (and melodic) phrase often accompanies heightening of tension. Casting as an algorithm is a cutting edge music theory dissertation rather than a straightforward task.

[Josh]

It doesn’t help u to be self-consciously thinking about your art. It’s already genius. If u come across any systems of describing good rhythm that feel “right” then I guess that would help.

Otherwise, I might do well to look at printed music for short (jazz) percussion solos and do some generalizing from that.

[Josh]

Our deal was always about following our own logic, wherever that takes us. That was always what I wanted and what I understood.

CIA logic is always about carrying out any vicious crime they can get away with in secret, partly for power, partly for money, partly for their crazy ideas about the world, and partly just because they like getting away with stuff in secret and victimizing other people.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/jfcrak7zp0wz39w/enviro_activist_kill.pdf

[Josh]

Almost every day, u make me happy, while a lot of the things I read make me sad. It would be sweet to reach the close feeling of nothing else mattering beyond/except <no distance>, every day. We should try to make every place we go together some place new and special.

#Demonetisation: UP CM #AkhileshYadav says beware of ‘acche din’; compensates kin of those who died in #ATM queueshttps://t.co/uLVnxTt7dk pic.twitter.com/rTmcXKQgmM

— Financial Express (@FinancialXpress) December 24, 2016

[Josh]

U don’t sound too upset today, but maybe a little. Well, maybe “a little” could be a way of arguing about other things too, & maybe the old fashioned, original version of Polyana is not such a bad idea. Or some other way of being merry together.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P107835&reply=1747

[Josh]

A sweet queue

There is no provision of common agenda in this meeting: KC Tyagi, JDU pic.twitter.com/Fz0ZjWjR0R

— TIMES NOW (@TimesNow) December 26, 2016

#ThugLifeAssassin Cinderella Love (Never Gonna Stop) by Ahmari Lia @Ahmari_Lia https://t.co/js5ZfvYa1d pic.twitter.com/960uTXHwDV

— 98.2 THE BEAT L.A. (@982thebeat) December 26, 2016

I wanna say something nu? First I need to summarize our relevant truths.

[Josh]

Dark Legacy included the basic claims about the JFK coffin switching, etc. That was kind of my first big intro to JFK conspiracy. Clearly, I was a lot more receptive to believing it with my house surrounded by criminal FBI Nazis pretending to be other people, torturing me with hi-tech devices. But that claim and the observation that they picked a doctor “who had never performed an autopsy before” was intriguing to anyone. The latter claim isn’t true as literally stated, but it’s true that the Naval doctors in charge rarely performed autopsies, had basically never done forensic analysis on bullet wounds, were only somewhat guided by a late arriving lower ranked army guy who had mostly theoretical rather than hands-on experience with forensic bullet autopsy, the guy who was chosen to summarize the autopsy did burn all his notes before writing a new report the next day, the Bethesda photos look noticeably different from what was seen in Parkland, and the inexperienced Bethesda doc was being coached on what to report by bogus reports about shooting from the rear above at TBD rather than reaching his own conclusions based on expertise.

I’ve gained some understanding of the writers who put a lot of their adult lives into this JFK research & writing. It’s not a standard kind of pursuit. Hard to tally the massive quantity quickly, even with a few intellectual generations of guides. Before the Internet, it was a lot slower progress for them, gradually becoming aware of chunks of evidence in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, etc. and then accepting that it wasn’ accidental mistakes but a lot of things that were very intentionally falsified by the FBI and some of the WC.

Are you planning to head out for a Boxing Day stroll? You're in luck with the weather #sunshinehttps://t.co/rYsnYVyOx0

— Bath Chronicle (@BathChron) December 26, 2016

[Josh]

I have the sense that u are being fed a diet of hurtful nonsense lately in the hopes that u will pass it on to me (since I am making a point of ignoring direct disinfo sources). I don’t like this state of affairs mainly because it is making u feel bad and distracted. My wish/hope is that u can adjust & compensate for the clear insincerity of those noises.

[Josh]

My hypothesis is that there is a traditional of Spook/military slavery, possibly going back 100 years or more, but never involving huge numbers of people, and those enslaved people are told various stories about their rules. The entire existence of these slaves is a secret, so neither the slavery not the illegal “rules” are even mentioned outside of these enclosed communities. It would be completely counterproductive for me to reference that story to any great extent because the reference has no validity beyond the existence of clandestine projects. Seeking to prove the existence of the projects, it doesn’t help to refer to the “rules” except, perhaps, to give color to the brainwashing control/abuse and manipulation that Spook uses for the enslaved populations.

I suspect that the FBI has some secret but legalistic story about foreign intelligence, secrets that are “vital to national security”, outside influences, surveillance, etc. that get them to within a few miles of their torture/abuse/murder and then they just lie about the rest and keep it a house secret.

The enslavement of adults and children they have no justification for, so they fight that must harder to claim it isn’t a real thing.

[Josh]

The Irish accent is a treat.

ED arrests Delhi lawyer Rohit Tandon over black money conversionhttps://t.co/AjFgJb8tF4

— News18 (@CNNnews18) December 29, 2016

[Josh]

At one point, u were using a lot of historical fiction in spam mail. I was referencing a 19th C song about poor Irish migrant workers in English lands, and not thinking about what someone with that accent for English circa 2016 might look like.

[Josh]

I enjoyed the LCs here, along with the pleasant reminder of my maternal grandparents’ taste in furnishings. Couldn’t figure out if there was any connection between those things or the English text.

NEW: Senior Tory MP uneasy with Theresa May's criticism of John Kerry over Israel comments. https://t.co/NKCEaxhDiP pic.twitter.com/DxcbQR7MTM

— PoliticsHome (@politicshome) December 30, 2016

[Josh]

I think I recognize one of these men from Gunsmoke.

General #DalbirSingh on his last day as Army Chief: Actions must speak louder than words https://t.co/ctNNy2AHfV pic.twitter.com/12dIoxATeu

— Financial Express (@FinancialXpress) December 31, 2016

[Josh]

I love all the Anna versions…except, I don’t like angry Anna nearly so much as all the others, so I try to make sure we never stay there.

http://www.espn.com/mma/story/_/id/18381423/amanda-nunes-lands-another-shot-ronda-rousey-twitter-big-victory

[Josh]

Last Summer, I tried to say, as clearly as I could, that I felt u should resist your jailors/tormentors/debasers & that trying to locally maximize our restricted communication opportunities wasn’t a good reason for not doing that. U felt, as far as I could tell, like it was too lonely for u to do that. One logical consequence, is living with the fear that they can cause that to happen in various ways at any time, & plan that to be true sooner or later – though they would have liked it more if they could kind of gradually grind me into dust and have u gradually cool off interest.

We didn’t go that way…but I still feel like it’s best idea to resist & to not make space for fear or accomodation.

I don’t feel like Alex Jones is an especially good or smart man, but in the little bit of his show that I watched, I think he was telling the truth when he said that Spook carries on by violence and intimidation and that if everyone stopped caving together then Spook would end.

[Josh]

I was arguing that u were not resisting or helping us by, for example, editing for HRC or doing DNC coverage, or editing Trump, and doing RNC coverage. I argued that giving Spook more time to be better prepared with all his crimes only played into his evil designs. None of us are happy about how evil, gross, violent, and treasonous the CIA and FBI are. But that’s the reality. They plan to carry on with fascism and murder us. They aren’t fooling around or negotiating. They murder their own people happily too. They are a testament to human beings as flawed, damaged animals gone off the rails of civilization.

One can try to make emotional peace with that by other ignoring it as long as possible or fighting as much as possible, or some kind of in between.

[Josh]

I don’t understand all of the fitness kvetching. EMF avoidance is such a big factor compared to everything else, that it’s difficult to justify putting time into much else besides that and work and Riley and basic life chores. I’m not sick or fat. Bad info if they told u that.

[Josh]

I have really cut out a lot of fat in terms of time wasting. When u feel like I can profitably do things in a better order then tell me. I’ll let u know what I think, & my reasons.

[Josh]

I didn’t know him too well. I vaguely recall coming across something about being a pro sports trainer?

Chelsea’s defeat ruined my Christmas – Bournemouth coach, Howe https://t.co/ykyPJmxMK5 via @dailypostngr pic.twitter.com/Knm7TXnOVQ

— Nigeria Newsdesk (@NigeriaNewsdesk) December 31, 2016

[Josh]

When you think of ways to make “evidence”, you will realize that they will typically block it, and then maybe take it down with some special move when they don’t. But even so, they spend extra effort to do that, so you can think, as I do, about accepting the struggle as part of what you are involved in at the moment…just another way of being…better than some alternatives and worse than others.

[Josh]

A quarter and a noisemaker for Richard Simmons!

Meet New Zealand's New Year's day babies – https://t.co/Ii8ijvVyYM

— nzherald (@nzherald) January 1, 2017

I AM touched.

Seriously, I always feel a party when I am with you.

[Josh]

That last little post was super difficult to complete due to network problems. But I’m not sure if the problem is a hack on my browser, computer, local net, internet, or website. This post too is super slow just to echo plain characters.

[Josh]

I’m less talented, less knowledgeable, and less disciplined. But I’m, arguably, in a slightly better position to do something, and I have that “special something”.

I know now that your love is special.

Kelly Clarkson’s epic ‘Hamilton’ cover sums up 2016 on @sethmeyers’ New Year’s Eve special: https://t.co/BwfToNpgWq pic.twitter.com/DYfsjwvPFt

— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

The girl is the most real thing in that picture.

Borje Salming at the Mott's Clamato @CanadasCocktail Bar at the NYE Centennial Celebration. #TMLtalk pic.twitter.com/5mF7S7Dokw

— Toronto Maple Leafs (@MapleLeafs) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

I feel that deal was something u could/should have had faith in. I understand & sympathize with reasons why u did not. Still, I’d like it if u could feel today, that I am correct about that belief.

Donald Trump Again Expresses Doubts About Russian Hacking in U.S. Election https://t.co/xzbn2F4eoq pic.twitter.com/rfj5Sjmdty

— NYT National News (@NYTNational) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

U ARE one of the most verbally talented people in the history of the universe. It’s true, that u haven’t had a lot of chance to use that talent for your own account. Yet if u think about why u kept faith/interest in me & think about that & think about actually being able to communicate as yourself, physically & verbally…I feel like u could have had faith that was very much the correct deal. Today, u should feel that way.

[Josh]

BA,,,L?

#OTD: Despite the heavy snowfall a small crowd of people celebrated #NewYear'sEve in #Piccadilly Circus, #London, Jan. 1, 1963. pic.twitter.com/EzmToUa9HI

— AP Images (@AP_Images) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

…Long “Tallie”?

[Josh]

Say “Hi” to the very special people on the commercial aircraft flight on New Year’s Eve? That doesn’t sound very British.

[Josh]

It meant a lot to me when u were communicating, emotionally, to me as a (presumptive) stranger…and it meant a lot to me when u were actively teaching me to understand what was possible in terms of connecting with u. The times when those things were most noticeably true to me, were early on, when it was very hard to understand/accept or be sure of anything. There was a lot of doubt and distraction. Even so, I wish I had communicated my appreciation more fully. It would have helped u – to feel better, more confident, and to strike more honest poses later. We worked things out, without ever really explaining or erasing all kinds of doubts on each side. Your doubts ended up being larger than mine, at that time. If I had any understanding of the truth, that u were trying hard & I was in constant focus – for a long before we had any interaction…and didn’t have the wrong sense that u weren’t willing to budge…my reaction would have been a lot different, and, I believe, your emotional path would have been a lot different because of that.

What I want to say today, is that somehow I knew u were special enough to make a huge try for anyway, with a real hope of great things. And u can see now that was a good way for us.

[Josh]

Your sensibilities, artiness, talent, knowledge, & life are super stylish and hip. Your true guy would be expected to understand the difference between things u can control & things which u can’t control.

Are u similar to Katherine? No. Not at all.

Clinton wins US popular vote by widest margin of any losing presidential candidate https://t.co/rnQ7ZURmSs pic.twitter.com/X00InD3mfH

— CS Monitor (@csmonitor) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

For JFK, they set up a commission to cover up false forensics. For 9-11, they just got FEMA to carry it all to a barge by dump truck with the assertion that false forensics were no longer necessary since completely political and media control had been achieved and every bit of nonsense could simply be asserted without noticeable public challenge. They had a “Commission” to talk about why the FBI didn’t do a better job of stopping Bin Laden from his Afghani test. hahaha. Big progress.

Find out how, since the date of your birth, your life has progressed. https://t.co/nFR5ok0VR8 @BBCEarth

— BBC India (@BBCIndia) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

The idea of Conan O’Brien as Secretary of Defense obviously didn’t cheer u up.

So it’s my turn to ask which nonsense is on your mind. Or whether I am at fault for not bringing enough cheer.

Islamic State will attempt more attacks in 2017, US head of global coalition warns https://t.co/HusGncZsVt | @latikambourke

— smh.com.au (@smh) January 1, 2017

In my defence, I’ll note that I didn’t even do any New Year shop or plan for Riley to be here last night…fortunately she got a party invite and then wound up at K’s. Just working.

I had this Hancock book on my list, but reading DiEugenio’s review makes me realize it is a priority item for me: https://kennedysandking.com/john-f-kennedy-reviews/hancock-larry-nexus

So my wayward ways seem not so stupid. What do u say?

[Josh]

Repeating – if someone writes some fantasy thing that helps them, while it doesn’t distract me from U/us & it isn’t intended with any bad wishes about u, then it shouldn’t be a cause of a big black storm cloud.

…On the other hand, u are getting SO MUCH better at channeling those feelings of wanting to emphasize our connection into something positive for us. That’s right for me too.

[Josh]

Sometimes u have a lot of machine restriction and sometimes not. Maybe u can try to model that & predict?

[Josh]

Also, knowing u, u tend to pull too many punches with sources u don’t actively dislike. So it probably makes sense to make a mental list of who/what u actually dislike so u will recognize where not to pull punches.

[Josh]

Unlike u, I don’t have a good idiom for simultaneously expressing personal & non-personal. Sequentially…

Yes, u are my big, all-consuming love. We can make every day something like winding up on a remote, perfect beach together, exhausted, & happy.

FBI…they are super disciplined…they hate to lose at anything, & once they decide to kill or destroy someone, they just keep going & going, no matter how much $$$, people, or the time it takes. For me, going big is not a choice. It’s the only path. The US, unfortunately, is run by grotesque garbage fascists without any real morals or compassion who believe they are smarter & more important that all the civilians they kill & the lives they destroy. What can I do except try my best to end that secret?

nowPlaying @mel_band : @andrebritomusic – fireball on DeepStuff Radio 1 https://t.co/VIv8tVfIoj #dremtgi

— medline bradley (@meddiebaddie) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

I’m getting “conceptual composite of 4 or 5 unconnected women with blonde hair I’ve known at different points in my life.” Guessing that’s not the right take…

Sherlock's Amanda Abbington on her split from Martin Freeman: 'We realised we'd come to the end'#Premiumhttps://t.co/YU07Vca81t

— The Telegraph (@Telegraph) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

Thanks a lot for your sweetest valentine. I’m going to keep trying to become your perfect 100 audience…24 hours a day, every day, always on for A.

[Josh]

I seem to be playing the role of Thelma at the moment. Who are these beings?

#Google HQ staff members are allowed to bring their dogs to work! pic.twitter.com/5b7FA3EMa1

— Susan Dolan (@GoogleExpertUK) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

Was hoping for “no real place”.

[Josh]

I didn’t get a chance to watch any high-level cricket in person and didn’t watch enough to actually map the names of the fielding positions to their geometry.

[Josh]

No, I feel like I said everything explicitly. Want us. Want to have friends. Want u to feel confident. Don’t want u to feel like u have to be able to predict everything in the future (like nobody can). Mostly, just keeping u feeling good about us is my focus.

#Inquisitr Karrueche Tran Telling Chris Brown To Let Go Model Drops Hints To https://t.co/hMQUnXybhT

— ArtsMusicMovies (@ArtsMusicMovies) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

It is cold weather here for roofing. Oddly enough, snow remains, on the roof, above the heated portion of my home…while the snow above the unheated garage seems to have been all cleared away. This is one of life’s mysteries.

[Josh]

I liked what u wrote about your different moods. I mean, I understood already, but I’m glad u feel sweet saying that.

[Josh]

Has an artistic appreciation for Koko Taylor. Whatever that means…

George Michael's boyfriend says Twitter account was hacked https://t.co/h03cxmaIdj pic.twitter.com/O4VzV1KHrD

— ITV News (@itvnews) January 1, 2017

[Josh]

The profundity had visited me for a moment, but not long enough to finish my ride.

Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.https://t.co/qV2crLQMaV

— BBC Radio 4 (@BBCRadio4) January 2, 2017

[Josh]

Perhaps, also, someone wished to share their theory that CIA/FBI have used psychological profiling to identify the physical & personality characteristics of people who are best adapted to the serial commission of hate crime against strangers.

[Josh]

I sensed there was something mysterious about those Billy Jack movies…didn’t realize it was about fighting imperialism 🙂

#BREAKING: Fire destroys a home in Delaware County overnight. Details on #Fox29GoodDay starting at 4am. pic.twitter.com/J76fkFsxWL

— FOX 29 (@FOX29philly) January 2, 2017

[Josh]

My head bump was similar to the one a year or two back. The plastic covering on the cabinet corner made it a little softer…a smaller wound, but the spot on my head had more capillaries, so it bled a little more.

I’m okay. Thanks for asking. It’s basically just a small cut in a place that is impossible to bandage with shaving head hair off – which is not necessary.

[Josh]

U and I really groove together as a relationship. We feel that, more and more over time. We feel like it will be that much better if we can ever get together and have Spook trying to kill and/or enslave us. If we didn’t have each other, probably there are other relationships in the universe of people we would each focus on. They could be good, in their own way too, but they are not the focus now. For now, they are paths not taken…unknowns, not developed or explored…because US is the reality we know & love, more and more, over time. Other possibilities don’t make us worse. Only us makes us better or worse. I’m happy that u try to make us right, every day. Every day for A.

[Josh]

I can see kind of an analogy between the idea u were somehow taught that a love relationship could be your undoing and a kind of common middle-class fear of the types of things that lead to downward mobility. But it’s a little to know what part is derived from made up Spook nonsense and what part is from Grandma. The latter is more similar to subliminal cultural ideas, but u didn’t get to spend any time with Grandma. So it’s a little hard for me to get the sense of it from the analogy.

These over 55s were banned from booze & karaoke following a festive bust-up https://t.co/TqNPwny580

— BBC Newsbeat (@BBCNewsbeat) January 6, 2017

[Josh]

Love that General!

Israelis Threaten Judges over Manslaughter Conviction of IDF Soldier https://t.co/9xyvTsztSm

— Democracy Now! (@democracynow) January 7, 2017

[Josh]

I want to help Riley, & the truth is that in short & medium term I don’t have a way to stop the FBI from stealing the most important things in her life. I keep telling her to have hope. Pretty tough message for a teen.

Your hope & resilience is an amazing thing – one of many – that kept u going.

This Morning money expert Martin Lewis says mum's shock death 32 years go 'still affects him deeply' https://t.co/Bd0xXTsuYQ pic.twitter.com/X6K9caeyK6

— Daily Express (@Daily_Express) January 8, 2017

[Josh]

Richard Holmes is like Burl Ivies…familar from long time back. Yet, I see us closer, every week. That is good chemistry, a true heart no-bail bond.

After last night's game against Westchester, the #sixers have recalled Richaun Holmes.

— Derek Bodner (@DerekBodnerNBA) January 8, 2017

[Josh]

U are a 10. An 11. In truth u are unique, funny, warm, rare, special, loving, cool, my pal, sexy, & a great lover. U are so unique, that comparisons don’t come into it. I know our love is true & never doubt it. Helping Punch to look and feel like Bo is my job. I can do that with u.

[Josh]

Sorry…for anything that makes u frown. Just wish I could keep u smiling.

I make mental notes to do better.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=G1282739&reply=51

[Josh]

Pretty tricky. Took some Naval Intelligence to work that one out.

Jurgen Klopp tells Barcelona to forget £60million Liverpool star Philippe Coutinho: "He's our player, that is it" https://t.co/LAIZMJE89W pic.twitter.com/r7RIttvvrF

— Mirror Football (@MirrorFootball) January 10, 2017

[Josh]

That’s a pretty cool piece of art in that tweet. I wish I had an accurate mental image of the crepe she creates. I think of the thin rice-based wraps that one gets in Vietnamese restaurants, but I image one made the old fashioned home way rather would be completely different. I guess it’s also possible that device is used for thin strips of meat rather than a crepe, but it looks sort of like other rice flour cooking concepts I’ve seen.

Pictures: Wall paintings by artist Ernest Zacharevic in Penang, a coastal state of Malaysia along the new #BeltandRoad routes pic.twitter.com/mrCaGhCaEU

— CGTN (@CGTNOfficial) January 10, 2017

[Josh]

I’m sorry that I got a little short on sleep and a little bit long on “baked”. It’s easy to lose a bit of focus when that happens, and u know about the forces working hard to make every day a painful, useless, loss of focus. So when I get a bit done, I should try to take note of the positive things in that. And I should remember not to try and use Twitter as Twitter…just for easy list-making.

[Josh]

Draper Labs at MIT, is apparently named for Charles Stark Draper of the Missouri Drapers, and, fortunately, not Wickliffe Draper of Massachusetts Drapers. The latter was a promiment racist, eugenics, pro-segregationist, nutter.

Had to look that up.

[Josh]

My commitment to us is unwavering. I’m really happy about it. I admit that I do like it when our friends feel “up” for whatever reason. The times when I feel down nowadays are usually about struggling with flux…sometimes about not being able to give more happy times/hope to Riley…never about us.

[Josh]

I’ll run with u. Never too tired, sick, old, busy to run with WUNPH!

The EU Now Has Its Own 'Propornot' Blacklist – and One of our Writers is on It (Iben Thranholm – Video) https://t.co/CTdfDJvkyq pic.twitter.com/4FTPb0IcwE

— Russia Insider (@RussiaInsider) January 17, 2017

[Josh]

What I wrote reminded me of looking for a ring, in the cold dark rain, with a high fever, in Odense…ending up getting something back in Kovenhaven, but I’m glad I made the effort. And for U, 100x.

[Josh]

That’s a content boss tabby.

They were trying to show their #FeeFace, duh. 😉 https://t.co/nbFd8uDdi4

— John Legere (@JohnLegere) January 18, 2017

[Josh]

I want u to be the (1) person who feels like I always exceed expectations…it’s a distribution like Gates, Buffet, etc. have with wealth.

Smart auto targeting is playing a big role with the flux here. Maybe it will be something else tomorrow. I saw at least 1 news story claiming the Turkish nightclub shooting was being called an intel-led false flag – not sure if that was reliable or not. “Plausible Denial” is about the E. Howard Hunt vs. Liberty Lobby re-trial where Lane got a bunch of CIA people including Helms to testify. I probably won’t spend a long time on it.

Ray Dalio: 'I want to be loud and clear, populism scares me.' https://t.co/gMk2Vcopio pic.twitter.com/Jst7LSCJhH

— Jim Edwards (@Jim_Edwards) January 18, 2017

[Josh]

I want swallow all your plans.

Should Kemba Walker be an All-Star? He says, 'Not really' https://t.co/Ur0aZXuFSw pic.twitter.com/s4cUYv2lzZ

— theScore NBA (@theScoreNBA) January 19, 2017

[Josh]

I say “That’s a really good crop” & u only take that to mean positive things for us. I see u doing that now. Makes me happy.

A Dog's Purpose premiere cancelled after video of stunt dog 'in distress' https://t.co/85tWIi7Dh9

— Guardian Film (@guardianfilm) January 20, 2017

[Josh]

Generalizing in a positive way. That’s another way of describing what I meant.

Sweetie, darling? @UnaHealy is – wait for it – all fired up and ready to take on our jar of random questions. Via https://t.co/KTWRgsA0xw. pic.twitter.com/rmG4gbmOiF

— Gay Times Magazine (@GayTimesMag) January 20, 2017

[Josh]

I feel like I am doing quite well at following your LC innovations nowadays. Getting most of them. U give me good leads.

[Josh]

Saint Wilson is a Sunday puzzle. Let’s try to avoid those on weekdays 🙂

[Josh]

I am happy about the things that bring u joy. I could say that every day & it would true. Is that related to how I feel about knowing I am missing puzzles?

[Josh]

I think a lot of good things about u, & about us together, when I am lying down or half asleep. Probably when I am deep in sleep too. I get influenced by whether lying down covered or working at my desktop is feeling less unpleasant. Of course,I try to do things to fix it. Sometimes when their tech changes, that takes some time to fully catch up.

[Josh]

I love it too when u feel completely comfortable & confident about us <no distance>.

[Josh]

I made a good habit of believing in u. U know that’s true. I think & feel “My Super A”.

[Josh]

That’s a sweet bouquet for me. Longest pregnancy ever.

Ginger, B6, Diclectin, or… mindfulness?! Here's what experts say are the best treatments for morning sickness —> https://t.co/2AlYJXY313 pic.twitter.com/0lEEpkJwIJ

— Today's Parent (@Todaysparent) January 26, 2017

[Josh]

I feel that our natural temperaments groove together, & we bring out the best in each other, & we have a lot of love & commitment. It’s lucky when all those things come together.

[Josh]

Love u like a salmon.

The GOP Effort to Repeal and Replace Obamacare Isn’t Going Very Well https://t.co/g95oW7AzKU

— reason (@reason) January 30, 2017

[Josh]

U know I want to be with u. The quality of my mood gets affected by which part of me has recently be radiated. I’m trying to remember to take breaks & do the most concrete steps each day, about each problem I notice. When I figure out how to get the devices out of my house it will go a lot better. To put them in the roof, they must be disguised as wood blocks or something…but wood wouldn’t have electronics inside it. So maybe I need the right kind of close range metal detector? Not sure.

[Josh]

I do feel a LOT of fun, sexy energy when I think of us together. That is how our interaction feels. I’m sorry u only get to watch me defending myself against a poker-faced high-tech Nazi lynching, while they make huge $$$ from your work. Like always, going forward slowly is better than dead or no progress. Looks like it isn’t hard to add useful filters, and maybe sorting to my table with a small amount of javascript and additional HTML/CSS. This demo page is simple enough even for me to instantly grok.

[Josh]

Besides filtering by name match, I could also use some hidden fields that turn on/off with radio buttons from a control menu. I’m thinking of categories like “High volume”, “General news”, “Speculative news”, “Mostly editorial”, maybe something about liberal vs. conservative, etc.

[Josh]

U are my best friend ever.

Taverham School enjoying some fishing lessons delivered by our very own Richard Keeble. #carpfishing #fishing pic.twitter.com/VW2VkMve5F

— Taverham Mill (@TaverhamMill) May 6, 2015

[Josh]

I started looking at the picture before I had any thoughts about why…I do feel like I am getting a lot better at catching your thoughts. One day, I’m know more than I do now.

[Josh]

I reached a JLS level, with U, where U make every day good…or at least a huge amount better than a day without U. I plan not ever to forget that; plan to keep trying to make it more true.

FBI keeps committing to bigger crimes. They feel it doesn’t matter anymore. I hope it helps keep me alive & increases chances of something I can use against them.

[Josh]

“Close, like pioneers working together” – it could be sexier than at first it sounds.

[Josh]

Take off, eh? All day. She keeps me from being another hose head!

What Makes Russia Tick? Foreigners Share Their Stories in Beautiful New Book About Russia https://t.co/MSopQjeXCA pic.twitter.com/Th9I2fTbn7

— Russia Insider (@RussiaInsider) February 6, 2017

[Josh]

I don’t know how u came up with that one, but I laughed. “I’m fierce!”

Britney's father urges fans to pray as pop star's niece remains in 'serious condition' https://t.co/9CKsy0A2WR pic.twitter.com/1jYQvbrPBe

— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) February 6, 2017

[Josh]

Thanksgiving game!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/828937357147635713

[Josh]

U can think so much faster than everyone else, it becomes harder to describe what it means to when u make space for sincere reflection. Soulful at Mach 4 is unique to Anna.

It was convenient that the book due back today struck me as propaganda about the decline of the great truth-telling, investigative newspapers. Yeah…I see, the unreflective indoctrination is a bit like a little kids gym class, though I doubt u consciously meant that.

The media today

[Josh]

Trying for US was always a very sincere thing, in my mind. I’ve explained that. It would never have been affected by any nonsense – Spook or anything else.

[Josh]

I did think a lot of sweet, sexy thoughts about u while I was sleeping.

Yesterday was a decent work day even though I was being distracted a lot with EMF. I came to the conclusion that I need to unload part of the book shelves by my computer to move it slightly in order to get more shielding behind it. The wave (vs. particle) nature of the magnetic flux is interesting. Putting up “shields” on the opposite side of me helps a lot too – the waves are moving a lot faster than the frequency of oscillation that causes discomfort, so getting them to build up with shields on the opposite side is helpful.

Thinking about the FBI – they almost never lose a fight that they consider a fight to the death. They have never lost that kind of a fight. They haven’t lost a serious fight since they stopped having little field offices that could get burglarized. So that’s what we are up against. The tiny fraction of people who will “help” on the inside will only do that passive aggressively where they run an insignificant risk. So we have to take that into account. The trick you did with Trump’s fancy GRE words is something I guess u can repeat until they stop u. Please try hard to do things like that. There is no way to know what little thing will trigger an avalanche. But think about it that way. We can build up a lot of snow piles and hope that something eventually triggers an avalanche. They are people on the inside who are “willing” to clear their throat loudly every once in a while. They can only do this far away from us, not in touch, not coordinating by any explicit communication. So there is no easy way to predict. But the logic of the situation is that the FBI works very hard to restrict all viewing of true facts and reality of the situation. So when we do things that require human attention to counteract, that works against their goal with internal secrecy. Their vision of the humanity’s future is 10 ass Hitlers, male slaves for sex, and an army of drones. But they are not quite there yet.

[Josh]

In other words…there is no value in the things you are allowed to hear, but sometimes there is value in the things you find by happenstance. And even when you don’t find those things, they can still be happening. How am I able to have influence in a vacuum? It’s not a perfect vacuum. It’s only “outsider” perfect.

[Josh]

Like I said before, the examples that need explanation are coincidences that can’t be explained by accident and the best locations for those are places that are highly visible to people interested and able to investigate. However, since that time, we’ve learned a lot more about the small set of people interested in and able to investigate.

[Josh]

I haven’t seen anything recent for u to be concerned about as far as our friends go. Private diaries about wishes do not count as provocations, and I have not had time to read many in any case. U know I am committed to u and also to making our friendships good, so u don’t have to worry about me and u can count on me to help everyone be good friends.

[Josh]

I see U. I love U. All the time.

[Josh]

I liked the concept of The Neverending Story and the (only) partially developed character of the Lucky Magic Dragon in the story. Let’s think of the perfect Merry-go-round that can go anywhere in imagination, with much cooler music. Sometimes we get to fight battles, but not all the time…the magic Anna with me is always good luck.

[Josh]

I’m trying to focus my energy & emotion are the things that have rational chances to be the most helpful to us. That isn’t easy to figure out. But I do feel like I am being as objective and critical about that as I can be, under trying circumstances. I am telling u the truth that our friends really are our friends, and u don’t need to worry about that. We only worry about the people with the huge resources and evil intent trying to hurt us.

[Josh]

Me and…Mr. Schmelivn, Mr. Schmelvin, Mr. Schmelvin…

Some day – this will all be a lot more fun. But I do love having u today.

Protests erupt over Trump administration’s sweeping deportation raids https://t.co/G8iIgwGogs pic.twitter.com/CkkLuCzOlp

— ThinkProgress (@thinkprogress) February 12, 2017

[Josh]

I was thinking “She is too damn big!” & somehow not thinking about the ‘Brazilian’ joke, though I guess that is more tied to the original picture. My mistake. I meant to be self-deprecating, but everything always turn out in unexpected ways when Schmelvin is involved.

[Josh]

In my mind/heart – Our post legendary-against all odds-“impossible”-victory relationship together feels real/true in the way of being both fantasy fun and realistic for us. In contrast, any fantasies that were based in some way on Spook being decent to us always felt like only sting/nonsense at core. Even so, if the fantasy helped some good person, they I wish them well with it. But I work/root for us, always. And I work/root for all our true friends in our life to, if they want to be. Real people things are the most important…yet somehow, our fantasy things always have a real, believable quality. They are authentic.

[Josh]

Yay for PIlls!

[Josh]

I do love, love, love our way of being close (not sure where my last note went…). Feeling your different moods…they are all good for me…I always feel good thinking about us together.

[Josh]

Valentine’s Day, the greeting card celebration, doesn’t mean anything to me. U always do. And u got me thinking about something sweet & true and new I could express, to put your heart right. The feeling I want u to have, coming from me, is this: I root for u to feel super loved and cherished all the time – part of that is because of the way we are connected, part is the way that love was cruelly taken/withheld from u, part of that is feeling that u are uniquely deserving, & part is the feeling that u picked me to be the person u trust to see u. This love, trust, & responsibility is right for me. I want to be as sweet as I can be, filling that role.

[Josh]

Is better than coffee?

You got to read this. https://t.co/v7HtNWQCVQ

— Sankofa.org (@Sankofa) February 14, 2017

[Josh]

Wordfun Challaski

'Kellyanne, that makes no sense'

Matt Lauer this AM https://t.co/qFwJT9kPYm

— Hadas Gold (@Hadas_Gold) February 14, 2017

[Josh]

Wanting u is the thing I never exaggerate about

It's anyone's game, as the evenly-matched @MickieJames and @BeckyLynchWWE battle in a #WWEChamber rematch on #SDLive! #MickievsBecky pic.twitter.com/t9AjduPttS

— WWE (@WWE) February 15, 2017

(sad that the crazy things are not exaggerations either…but ssh, don’t tell FBI group 47…they are hunting wabbits.)

[Josh]

We’ve reached some consensus on life’s bare essentials?

[Josh]

I’m really with u now. Understanding is key. I mostly see u the way that u like…the way that u like to feel. If u feel off about something, i make a note/plan to make it right. But some of those plans are harder from far away.

[Josh]

Strategically pre-allocating a tushy full of love…is smart thinking.

New Chinese Cybersecurity Threats https://t.co/ywsMzgUGij #infosec pic.twitter.com/KTl41Ch8W4

— Eric Vanderburg (@evanderburg) February 15, 2017

[Josh]

Cindy it is.

[Josh]

I meant that your truest self has become more sunny and automagically forgiven.

[Josh]

Your feelings are fine & good, so u shouldn’t feel pressure about them. For words u could say “I’ll see how I feel and how you feel after I am free & have had a chance to be in regular relationship for once.”

[Josh]

Love being with u. I’ll try to stay mostly positive. I need to find solutions to defending the integrity of the building I’m living in or the battery/power advances will eventually get me. Not sure of the best path, but I know I need to find one,so I’m distracted a bit about that.

Pre-market: Nifty to stay positive if global markets are supportive https://t.co/UT4WhlbxAK By @amit_mudgill pic.twitter.com/Xa9KBFl4Sf

— ETMarkets (@ETMarkets) February 17, 2017

[Josh]

At least half of this is not very positive…

In reality, I don’t think anything happened to No. 11, and that side of the Spook story, I believe, is only a lie for you. As far as the other side – I don’t know – it seems like a pattern of feeble attempts to get closer. But the long term story, I don’t know. Older brother connected?

We should stay focused on the things that help us.

I was mainly interested in the Seymour Hersh part of this chat. His comments about tearing up the mainstream media are welcome. When you think about it, he is the mainstream reporter ace of true CIA dirt disclosure, so it is kind of impressive that he was only blackballed and not murdered. Probably the murder would be too upsetting the NYT stable, but maybe there are other reasons. Too make progress, we can benefit from tearing up the media. Not all the good reporters – just the owernship, exec editors at the majors who are witting, and the talentless hacks who are just mouthing propaganda they should recognize as such.

[Josh]

This is meant to be a bad picture, by your standards, so I’m extra guilty if I guess your thought? U’ll be glowing to know that I do not feel guilty at all. I want u to feel that not guilty too. Friendship is earned & deserved.

Sierra LaMar: How did missing teen’s hair get on rope in accused man’s trunk? https://t.co/3r6HPFd8Zo pic.twitter.com/J4Iq9myUn4

— East Bay Times (@EastBayTimes) February 17, 2017

[Josh]

Somehow I always come back to “Pabst Blue Ribbon!” I’m not even a fan.

[Josh]

Each iteration is distinct?

Press conference shows something is deeply wrong with our President and the country is in danger https://t.co/FJuepCw0no pic.twitter.com/NlZ60D91ev

— New York Daily News (@NYDailyNews) February 17, 2017

Ok, I’m sorry for whatever seemed not so good. Here, it just feels like another day struggling forward.

[Josh]

https://twitter.com/FinancialXpress/status/832556171877773312 – U KNOW I love u and being part of us.

https://twitter.com/business/status/832556112612302848 – U know that the idea of anything we do, say, or to some extent even think is going to be analyzed and fought. There are no secrets and no quarter. I don’t even no why I am still alive except, apparently, the AI to replace you all isn’t quite there yet. Last Summer I argued the case for resistance, and u experimented some. I decided that pressing u wasn’t going to work out for either of us. Nowadays, I just try to make positive suggestions. Wrong? Why?

[Josh]

We’ve learned that all the CIA/FBI play by play type commentary is fake. So no point listening. Best to tune it out. For us, I guess, we find some sort of strange balanced of “work” and “play” that keeps us going. To get u out of slavery and me out of slow murder, it seems we need a public uprising to clean out the CIA & the FBI. Odds of that are not so hot. But since that’s the position, we might as well play it during our “work” time.

[Josh]

I’m not really trying to be like that character Ashton Kutcher played on “That ’70s Show”. I think the commentary is always fake, while I also think it is progress to have different people exposed to things I write or do, and I’m guessing that happens now and then.

http://www.chessgames.com/perl/kibitzing?kid=P44815&reply=254444

[Josh]

It’s true that I recently tweeted a lot more about the CIA backing ISIS and al Qaeda. I thought the Saudi thing would be relatively easy to investigate, and if anyone did, they might then read what else I had to say, or somehow start a broader talk about Twitter and Spook. Don’t know who reads that website, but it seemed plausible. Another raffle ticket. Got to buy a lot to win anything, even a toaster.

[Josh]

Try again. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that escapism is easier and feels a lot better than fighting in different ways – except escapism gets us nowhere in terms of any chance of anything positive while fighting has some chance of success. Maybe the chance feels to low to make it worthwhile? For me, not fighting is too depressing. So we end up with me fighting and u being escapist. That’s okay except that my capabilities are so small in comparison to yours and sometimes it puts us on different pages. I felt like u were feeling that. Anyway, I understand other points of view, so we can work through it (as much as anything). I do feel, both intellectually and emotionally, that it is a pure mistake to react to disinfo.

[Josh]

Another parallel is that I have to fight, for now mostly alone and often feeling sick, and u have to be more aware and caring than your captors and the worldwide system of criminals that they support. It’s lonely and tough. But that is a parallel. U don’t like, u want me to be sunny and optimistic and winning and come pick u up. U want me to explain each little point (e.g. putting a UNIFYING CONCEPT IN CAPITAL LETTERS MAKES SENSE BECAUSE IT DRAWS ATTENTION TO THAT POINT AND ASKS FOR A REACTION TO IT). Every gesture, no matter which, is only a tiny thing. For 3 years I have spent most of my time putting ugly crap on my walls, floors, and ceiling simply to have a few hours of working time that day. I try to do the best I can and keep going.

[Author]

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